“Pain is pain,” she said. “But you have to agree that if you have to live in discomfort, best to do it with God than without him.”
And she was right. She wasn’t a sentamentalist, believing that knowing God makes the pain go away. We both know that it doesn’t. “Life,” she added. Yes, pain is a part of life, as is death.
I hate a number of things in this life. I don’t think it’s wrong to hate in this life. Whatever. Anyway, one of the things I hate is atheism or anti-theism, especially if it’s based on rank stupidity. (I know, I know. Since I already heartily accept the verse that the dullard says in his heart there’s no God, I already believe atheism and antitheism to be inextricably linked to, both based on and resulting in, rank stupidity, but that’s not the point here.) Those sorts of God-rejectors that say “bad things happened and they hurt me so there is no God,” the ones who lost someone or got abused and say there’s no god due to that, that sort of atheism I abhor. Why? This is where the rank stupidity comes in. Because by rejecting God, the only foundation for objective morality, a basis for an actual reason and purpose to pain, then that undermines the whole moral outrage against the source of pain: the loss or the abuse.
You see, with no basis in objective morals, then there was nothing right or wrong about the loss. It was just a happening. So on what do you have to base any negative feeling about it? In fact, there is no moral reason to oppose it happening again that would in any way impact the abuser. He has his thoughts, the victim has his. So what? So the hell what? So someone else is dead. Millions die, have died, will die, and life carries on regardless as if they never existed or mattered. So who needs to give a damn about a person mourning or hurting over the loss? No God? Then it’s all worthless.
What’s great about my argument here is that there’s no just grounds for a godless person to oppose it. There’s no objective justice or right in that abhorrent worldview. So when an opposition comes up, it’s just personal opinion wasting time punching electronic text to talk to a stranger. Worthless drivel. Worthless.
But at least with God, pain is pain, but it’s not utterly worthless. Since God is a purposeful entity, then everything has a purpose, even if I cannot see it. Yeah, I hurt. I hurt real bad. But the meaning is there. A foundation for meaning is there, not simply atheistic undirected and hopeless futility.
I don’t understand the point of my frustrations with the world, with the aspects of my life that seem to, … *sigh.* I don’t know if I’m poured out, fighting with shadows, whether my face is under a boot, or if I’m simply going crazy, if I’m not already there. I don’t know. I’m not a sentimentalist, believing that God will make it all better.
But there’s something, something positive, about knowing that he’s the foundation of existence, more real than me, me the dream of the divine, an echo of his word, his thought, whatever that means on his level. It’s hard to explain.
And I won’t.