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Tempted

I’m alone, not part of any real group apart from my family. There is no desire within me to join a “noahide” group. I find what is taught and accepted my the ones I see to be horrifying. And for the most, it’s all virtual. Apart from one close friend, realistically, I’m part of nothing.

I’m a distrustful fellow. I don’t simply “do as I’m told.” Past experiences have reinforced my cautious approach to those who deem themselves authorities, who others deem so. Nowadays, I want to distance myself from authoritarianism. That automatically sets me at odds with Gentile rabbinical order-followers.

Sometimes I’m tempted to just throw it all in.

No, no. I’m not talking about adopting another religion. I spit on religious innovations such as christianity, islam, atheism, all that crap. No.

Sometimes I’m tempted to just throw all my books into a fire, cut myself off from any religion, including the rabbis of the religion of “Judaism” and their followers, and just come to terms with the fact that … all I have is what is really around me, not on some computer screen or phone screen. I’d come to terms with the fact that I’m a Gentile in a Gentile world, not a Gentile in books and traditions not mine, that are actually foreign to me, that I only access as a visitor, almost a trespasser.

I accept that some Jew has told me about the seven laws for humanity from God, and now I need to go back to my world, live the basic principles, try to be a decent human, and just finish this journey (may it come soon). The Jew, the person foreign to me, he goes away to his real life and he does what he does; and I, the non-British Brit cut off from his non-British roots, I go to whatever I do, and that’s it.

Maybe that is the way it should be for me. I can rant about and against the Gentile world I live in, leave the rabbis and those who wish to follow them to themselves. It won’t seem like stepping on foreign soil every time I want to make a point. “Hey, David, it’s his turf, he’s the one who makes the rules.

Some may say the rabbis don’t make the rules, they use their expertise to explicate the traditions already given. You say “po-tay-toe,” and I say “po-tah-toe.” You say “to-may-toe” and I say “to-mah-toe.” Whatever the simple or complex situation is, it may be easier to just take the basic categories, the seven, and go my way.

But David you can only keep it correctly if you follow this rabbi.

Exactly my point. This mentality that I link so much to my past dead dung faith. “No one comes to the Father except by [rabbi x].” You’re talking about this rabbi, but what about that one that contradicts him? Just give me the basic groups and then leave them to battle it out amongst themselves. If I get it wrong on my own, then it’s much the same as getting it wrong with one of them.

Well, see, wouldn’t life been easier if you just stuck to one rabbi?

Again, thank you for making my point for me. The order-following. The devotion to a man.

I need to do some thinking.

By hesedyahu

I'm a gentile living in UK, a person who has chosen to take upon himself the responsibility God has given to all gentiles. God is the greatest aspect of my life and He has blessed me with a family.

I used to be a christian, but I learnt the errors of my ways.

I love music. I love to play it on the instruments I can play, I love to close my eyes and feel the groove of it. I could call myself a singer and a songwriter ... And that would be accurate.

What else is there?

2 replies on “Tempted”

I am sorry you feel so alone. It is sad that you lost some important friendships because of your opinions.

I find that Jews and Gentiles are forever joined. We need them and they need us. I don’t think it’s fair to link following the teachings of a faithful rabbi to worshiping a heretic as God.

If you are thinking about ending this blog, you should consider the impact it has in the Noahide community, whether you feel part of it or not.

You don’t have to apologise. You did me no wrong. As you probably know, you’re the one friend I know I have.

I didn’t make the link you suggested. The issue is not worship or idolatry (not every christian is an idolator), it’s the following one person as the means to righteousness and what people call “getting close to God.” I rejected the notion of Jesus being God or some eternal spirit while I was a christian, but, in those times, I thought I still had to follow him, to do what he said, to get close to God. It’s in that limited sense that I make the link, not idolizing a man.

I’m not thinking of ending the blog. I’m just thinking of being harshly truthful about my non-relationship with Jews and their Gentile following.

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